I am Stella the Illustrious. (That sounds so good, doesn’t it?) I am Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hello! And once again, Lady Human has come home after dark with no explanation for her absence.
Me: Well, excuse me!
Stella: No. Not this time.
Me: Stella, I am a human, remember? I am not subject to any bulldog curfew.
Stella: When you left, it was daylight. When you came home, it was dark.
Me: I was gone for a total of four hours.
Stella: And you came home smelling of popcorn.
Me: Really? I didn’t notice.
Stella: Are you questioning my dog nose? Even a bulldog has a better sense of scent than any human. You also smelled of wieners and bread and mustard, a delicious odor from what you so rudely refer to as a “Hot Dog”.
Me: You caught that, too. Your nose is more sensitive than I thought. I wasn’t anywhere near the Hot Dog Stand.
Stella: Aha! A confession! You went to a party without us!
Me: Stella, honey, I go lots of places without y’all. No dogs were allowed.
Stella: And yet other animals were. I scented an owl, a porcupine, a possum, small horses, goats, ducks, chickens…
Me: How do you know what a porcupine smells like?
Stella: You weren’t around for my first year and a half. You don’t know what I experienced.
Me: Did you run into a porcupine before you met us?
Stella: Not the point, but I guessed right, didn’t I?
Me: Mmmm. Yeah.
Stella: Where did you go that we could not?
Me: I volunteered at a Fall Festival at my church. It was for humans. Only humans. Families and kids. I worked a snow cone machine.
Stella: Snow cones? I like snow cones.
Me: And we had a popcorn machine.
Stella: Popcorn? I like popcorn.
Me: And a cotton candy machine.
Stella: Cotton candy. I like to eat cotton.
Me: Cotton candy is a little different. And we had hot dogs.
Stella: That’s me.
Me: And a petting zoo with ponies, goats, ducks, and chickens. And the City Zoo brought an owl and a possum and, yes, a porcupine.
Stella; I knew it! They let other animals in, but not bulldogs. Unfair!
Me: Maybe next year, Stella.
Stella: I will volunteer, Lady Human, but only if I get one snow cone, two hot dogs, a bag of popcorn, and a taste of cotton candy. And if I can get petted by all the children. No adults, please. I can get petted by adults anytime.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.