I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hurry, Lady Human! Listen! Those reindeer that man on your little picture box was talking about! They’re here!
Me: Nope.
Stella: Yes, they are! Here them tromping on the roof! This is exciting!
Me: It’s exciting, but not in a good way.
Stella: Let’s go see them. Is that chubby man in the red suit with them?
Me: Those aren’t reindeer tromping on the roof, girl. Those are rats.
Stella: Rats? Really? Well, that’s not so special…unless…are they pulling a tiny sliding box with gifts?
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Bulldoggy 