I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. What’s in your hand, Lady Human?
Me: A snack for Sweetie.
Stella: Because you want her to do what?
Me: I’m just being nice.
Stella: You’re not being “nice” to me. It’s a bribe, isn’t it?
Stella: Don’t feel guilty. Admit it.
Me: Bribery is not a human virtue.
Stella: Because humans use it wrong. I’ve heard you all talk. You use it to get somebody to do something they ought not do or to do something they ought to do but aren’t.
Me: If I’m trying to get Sweetie to cut her sunbath short because it’s too hot, isn’t that the same thing?
Stella: Of course not. To a dog, bribery is not a bad thing at all. In fact, keep it coming. I’d like to see more of it.
Me: Therefore what?
Stella: Where’s my bribe so I will stop talking about this?
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