I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human has been very naughty.
Me: No bulldog has a right to call me naughty. Look in a mirror.
Stella: You were gone twice today. Not once, but twice. That is one…two…that’s two times too many. What is your excuse?
Me: Well, this evening I met one of my daughters for dinner for Mother’s Day. She is going on a business trip tomorrow and won’t be here.
Stella: Not good enough. Why were you gone the other time?
Me: I went to study in my Gaelic class.
Stella: Why would anyone study garlic. Dogs can’t even have garlic though it would be wonderful if we could. It smells delicious.
Me: Not garlic. Gaelic. It is the native tongue of Ireland.
Stella: What does that even mean? You went away from us to study a tongue. You could have stayed here and studied our tongues. We are happy to show our tongues.
Me: Sorry, I should have said ‘language’. I went to study the Irish language.
Stella: You can’t explain anything to us in your own language and now you are studying another one? Wait a minute. Were there Irish dogs at this class? Were you out talking to other dogs?
Me: Don’t be silly. You can smell my clothes and tell that there were not.
Stella: Forget Irish. You ought to work on your English Bulldoggese. It leaves much to be desired.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.