How Many Holidays Do You Humans Have Anyway? – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. It has happened again. Lady Human is celebrating some bizarre human holiday. The more she celebrates, the less we see her.

Me:        Oh, come on! I hardly ever go anywhere. Celebrations are few and far between.

Stella:    You had one last night and came home past curfew.

Me:        No bulldog curfews for humans, remember?

Stella:    Then you had 2 outings today.

Me:        One was church. One was lunch with family. I don’t see the problem. It was, after all, Mother’s Day.

Stella:    A poor excuse for depriving a bulldog of constant attention.

Me:        Humans have their needs, Stella.

Stella:    Like what?

Me:        Well, like talking to other humans about things other than…well, other than dogs.

Stella:    You do not talk about dogs on these outings?

Me:        No. Not always. I mean, I did at church this morning. A visitor had just gotten a 4-month-old English Bulldog and she was asking me lots of questions.

Stella:    Let me get this straight…

Me:        By all means, please do.

Stella:    This human left her bulldog at home to go to church, which I still don’t understand, so she could ask questions about her bulldog. Is that what you do at church? And why is that allowed?

Me:        We talk about lots of stuff at church. Of course, it’s allowed. Her dog is fine, and I gave her lots of resources to look up.

Stella:    Very well. Church meetings about bulldogs are all right.

Me:        That’s not what church is…Never mind.

Stella:    It sounds to me like you humans are out of control again. It sounds to me like you need to show me your calendar, so I can scratch out holidays that are not necessary.

Me:        Nope.

Stella:    But I can…

Me:        Nope.

Stella:    It’s just so…

Me:        Nope.

Stella:    Typical.

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

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