I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I have a list of things I need…
Me: Before you get going on that, I have a different list. Things I don’t need.
Stella: Typical.
Me: Hear me out. Number one: I don’t need the incessant barking for no reason. I came home today, and everybody was barking and barking and there was no need for it.
Stella: We will be the judge of that.
Me: Well, I’m the judge of this. When you all are barking for no reason that I can tell, it sounds very much like you are yelling at me.
Stella: We would never yell at you. Not all at once. How could anyone understand what was being said?
Me: Try as I may, I don’t understand when you are barking one at a time. Item Number Two: I don’t need you to chase the cat or egg on anyone else to chase the cat. Doodlebug NEVER chased Moon the Cat before the other day and now he charges her every time he comes in from outdoors. I think you are encouraging him.
Stella: I am simply urging him to seek his own bulldog path. Cat chasing is perfectly normal for a young bulldog.
Me: Not in my house.
Stella: Your house? Since when?
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Bulldoggy 