Me: It is with great sorrow and not a little trepidation that we must say farewell to Stuffed Chicken Toy who has been a great comfort and friend to Miss Sweetie. After much consideration and debate…
Stella: And after hiding the chicken toy from Sweetie for a whole week…
Me: …Tall Man and I have decided that we must look for a more indestructible soft toy for Miss Sweetie’s powerful jaws and overwhelming personality.
Miss Sweetie: Where is my chicken?
Me: Gone to a better, a safer place, girl. Safer for you and for Stuffed Chicken Toy.
Miss Sweetie: But why?
Tiger: Because, silly, you insisted on tear off pieces of her.
Miss Sweetie: But we were playing. I thought she enjoyed that.
Snoopey: And you insisted on eating the pieces you tore off.
Wiggles: Like the chicken’s foot, remember?
Miss Sweetie: Oh, yeah, the foot that disappeared.
Stella: It only “disappeared” into you and only temporarily.
Me: Yes, temporarily, thank the LORD.
Miss Sweetie: You found my chicken’s foot? Where is it? Can she have it back?
Me: We found it. Yes, she can have it back.
Miss Sweetie: Where is it?
Me: It is in a safe place with Stuffed Chicken Toy.
Snoopey: A place where you can no longer eat it…again.
Miss Sweetie: I carried her everywhere.
Me: I know. Y’all were so cute, trundling around the house.
Miss Sweetie: She was my bestest friend ever.
Stella: Learn to make friends with real food. You will never go wrong.
Miss Sweetie: Oh, Stuffed Chicken Toy. I am so sorry that I ate your foot. And your beak. And I think that’s all.
Snoopey: You would have gotten around to the other parts soon enough.
Stella: I have a crateful of softie toys and I never eat them.
Tiger: Some bulldogs just can’t handle the soft stuff.
Doodlebug: Soft toys, yuck! If you want to eat something soft, eat poop.
Me: No, Doodlebug. We’ve had long talks about that.
Doodlebug: Oh, yeah. But still…
Me: Now I feel bad.
Stella: Don’t, Lady Human. It’s for her own good.
Me: I have to find some bulldog-proof soft toys, something she will like.
Me: Why impossible?
Stella: You said it yourself. Bulldog-proof. Impossible.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.