R.I.P. Stuffed Chicken Toy, Sweetie’s Old Friend – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Me:        It is with great sorrow and not a little trepidation that we must say farewell to Stuffed Chicken Toy who has been a great comfort and friend to Miss Sweetie. After much consideration and debate…

Stella:    And after hiding the chicken toy from Sweetie for a whole week…

Me:        …Tall Man and I have decided that we must look for a more indestructible soft toy for Miss Sweetie’s powerful jaws and overwhelming personality.


Miss Sweetie:    Where is my chicken?

Me:        Gone to a better, a safer place, girl. Safer for you and for Stuffed Chicken Toy.

Miss Sweetie:    But why?

Tiger:     Because, silly, you insisted on tear off pieces of her.

Miss Sweetie:   But we were playing. I thought she enjoyed that.

Snoopey:   And you insisted on eating the pieces you tore off.

Wiggles:   Like the chicken’s foot, remember?


Miss Sweetie:    Oh, yeah, the foot that disappeared.

Stella:    It only “disappeared” into you and only temporarily.

Me:        Yes, temporarily, thank the LORD.

Miss Sweetie:   You found my chicken’s foot? Where is it? Can she have it back?

Me:        We found it. Yes, she can have it back.

Miss Sweetie:    Where is it?

Me:        It is in a safe place with Stuffed Chicken Toy.

Snoopey:   A place where you can no longer eat it…again.

Miss Sweetie:   I carried her everywhere.

Me:        I know. Y’all were so cute, trundling around the house.

Miss Sweetie:    She was my bestest friend ever.

Stella:    Learn to make friends with real food. You will never go wrong.

Miss Sweetie:   Oh, Stuffed Chicken Toy. I am so sorry that I ate your foot. And your beak. And I think that’s all.

Snoopey:   You would have gotten around to the other parts soon enough.

Stella:   I have a crateful of softie toys and I never eat them.

Tiger:   Some bulldogs just can’t handle the soft stuff.

Doodlebug:   Soft toys, yuck! If you want to eat something soft, eat poop.

Me:        No, Doodlebug. We’ve had long talks about that.

Doodlebug:   Oh, yeah. But still…

Me:   Now I feel bad.

Stella:    Don’t, Lady Human. It’s for her own good.

Me:   I have to find some bulldog-proof soft toys, something she will like.

Stella:   Impossible.

Me:   Why impossible?

Stella:   You said it yourself. Bulldog-proof. Impossible.



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.



The Mystery of the Missing Chicken Foot – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and…

Miss Sweetie:    Lady Human, my chicken’s foot is missing.


Stella:    Sweetie, go through channels. You tell me and I tell Lady Human. I am the Queen.

Miss Sweetie:   My chicken’s foot is missing.

Stella:    Lady Human, as Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, I regret to inform you that a foot is missing from Miss Sweetie’s favorite chicken toy.

Miss Sweetie:   She is not a toy. She is real. I carry her everywhere. Now she has a foot missing.

Me:        Yeah, that’s terrible, Sweetie. When did you first notice that the foot was missing?

Miss Sweetie:    When I noticed it was missing.

Me:        Okaaayyy. Was that today?

Miss Sweetie:   I noticed it was missing today and yesterday and the day before.


Me:        Have you looked for it?

Miss Sweetie:    No. Yes. No. Maybe.

Stella:    We are talking about Sweetie, Lady Human. She takes life as it comes. I doubt that a search has been made.

Me:        We will keep our eyes open.

Stella:    Do we need a description?

Miss Sweetie:    It looks like a chicken foot.

Me:   We will just look around for an orange foot like the other one. Meanwhile, it is potty time. Sweetie, follow me.

Stella:    Why don’t we get to go, too?

Me:        You know why, Stella. Sweetie doesn’t pay attention to “business” when she is outside with others. Only when she is out by herself with me.

Stella:    Okay, fine!

Snoopey:   I know where the chicken’s foot went.

Stella:    Why didn’t you tell Lady Human?

Snoopey:   Sweetie ate it.

Stella:    What?

Me:        Okay, we’re back. Mystery solved.

Miss Sweetie:   Oh,, Lady Human, I have another question.

Me:   All right.

Miss Sweetie:   Where is my chicken’s beak?



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.