I am Stella, Queen of the Illustrious Olde English Bulldogges (which makes me Illustrious as well). Happy Calendar Change or, as the humans keep saying, Happy New Year!
I am weighing the benefits of accepting Lady Human’s invitation to jump on her bed.
Me: Well, not just to jump on the bed. I thought you could share it sometimes. Not you and Snoopey at the same time. It is a twin bed so there’s not enough space for 79.4 lb. Snoopey and 51 lb. you and how ever much I weigh me.
Stella: How much do you weigh?
Me: Next subject, please.
Stella: Okay. Reason for jumping on your bed #1 – I get to spend more time with you.
Me: That’s sweet, Stella.
Stella: Reason for not jumping on your bed #1 – Stinky, perfumey room.
Me: Well, you can’t have everything.
Stella: Reason for jumping on your bed #2 – I get to spend more time with you.
Me: I like that reason.
Stella: Reason for not jumping on your bed #2 – I would have to leave my crate and bed unguarded. I worry about what might happen to Mr. Long Blue Squishy Hound, Mr. Rhinoceros, Mr. Christmas Tree Puppy, Mr. Yellow Chicken, Mr. Green Gator…
Me: I get the idea.
Stella: I haven’t finished the list of my stuffies yet.
Me: Yes, you have. We understand. Bed. Stuffies. Worried.
Stella: That’s it! I can’t leave them, Lady Human! Who will take care of them if they have a nightmare in the dark? What if Miss Sweetie tries to make off with them into the outside world? No, I appreciate the invitation. I will take you up on it during the day, but my stuffies need me at night, so no bed jumping then. Snoopey will have your whole bed to herself.
Me: She usually does.
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