What Is That Terrible Stink? – Conversations with Stella

Hello! I am Stella, Queen Illustrious and Noble of the Olde English Bulldogges. Allow me to repeat that – QUEEN! As queen, I should not have anything assault my nose. Ever.

Me:        What is the problem?

Stella:    There is a terrible stink.

Me:        Well, you know…bulldogs. Hellooo!

Stella:    I already said hello to everyone. And what does stink have to do with bulldogs?

Me:        Is that a real question, Stella?

Stella:    This stink hit me in the face when I came into your room.

Me:        I don’t smell anything peculiar.

Stella:    Let me be brutally honest. The stink is coming from you, Lady Human.

Me:        What? I showered. I put on clean clothes.

Stella:    It is your skin.

Me:        I rubbed on some essential oils. That’s all. No perfume.

Stella:    220 million dog nose receptors can’t be wrong.

Me:        220 million, huh. That’s a lot.

Stella:    I don’t know what 220 million means, but I know it is more than four. Four is the number of one paw’s worth of toes. How powerful are human noses?

Me:        Hmmm…5 million.

Stella:    Don’t be embarrassed about your weak nose, Lady Human. Be embarrassed about stinking so badly.

Me:        Essential oils don’t stink. They may be overpowering to you, but not to humans.

Stella:    Please warn me before you use them again.

Me:        I will if you will forewarn me about bulldog gas leaks.

Stella:    I can make no promises. Our gas leaks surprise even me most of the time.


Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

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