I received the infamous Stink Eye from Snoopey today.
Stella: As an Olde English Bulldogge myself, I greatly appreciate Snoopey’s skill at delivering the Stink Eye. She is an artist.
Me: Well, I don’t find it to be a work of art.
Stella: Why did she shoot the Stink Eye at you? Did you cave in to it? Did you show weakness?
Me: No, I did not cave or show weakness. What kind of human would I be if I did? She objected to me letting you out for a sunbath before I let her out.
Stella: What? Queen Stella comes first. How dare she?
Me: She did not appreciate it. She gave me a sidelong, extended Stink Eye, bulldog-style. Now I understand that she is the pack leader among the dogs and I respect that.
Stella: Yes, every day you open her crate first and she gets first pick on treats. I don’t like it, but I tolerate it.
Me: So how is it that Snoopey is pack leader and you are the Queen?
Stella: The Queen is royal and regal and dignified. That’s me all over. The pack leader defends, watches, warns, balances. That is Snoopey all over. I admire her. But she has no right to sunbathe before me! No! No! No!
Me: I’ll try to balance your competing interests.
Stella: No competition. I win. I am the Queen. A queen without a crown…hint, hint.
Me: I still haven’t found a suitable one. I could make you one out of…
Stella: Don’t say cardboard. Nope. Real crown.
Me: What about plast…
Stella: Nope. No plastic.
Me: You stopped me too soon. What about plaster?
Stella: Plaster. Hmmm. Nope. I don’t know what it is, but it sounds cheap. My crown should be expensive.
Me: I’ll keep working on it.
Stella: Work harder! Work faster!
Me: Or what?
Stella: Oh, I think you know. If you don’t, go ask Snoopey Stink Eye.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 