I AM STELLA, QUEEN OF THE OLDE ENGLISH BULLDOGGES! HERE ME ROAR!
Me: Is that what that noise was? I thought you were choking on something. What a relief!
Stella: Silence, peasant!
Me: Excuse me?
Stella: You are excused.
Me: Stella, remember? “No rude, no crude, no bulldog mood.”
Stella: Yes, I remember. Sounds like something a human would say.
Me: It is.
Stella: You are all wet. You are dripping on the floor. How come?
Me: Miss Sweetie and I had a difference of opinion about whether or not she would take a bath. I won. And I lost.
Stella: Hahaha! Well, she does smell better. So I think we all won. But you are still all wet.
Me: I’ll dry out. One of the great things about being human is our ability to change clothes. One of the great things about wrestling Miss Sweetie over a bath is that I get a wonderful physical workout. 70 pounds of bulldog pulling this way and that makes me work for my victory.
Stella: Any day Miss Sweetie smells good is a victory for all of us. Congratulations!
Me: That reminds me. You are about due for a bath yourself.
Stella: Whaaagggttt? Naw. It wasn’t that long ago. You are all wet.
Me: So if I dry out and give you a bath, you are saying that I will be all wet again?
Stella: Well, not on purpose. But yes, on purpose. Have you seen my shake and roll?
Stella: I can sling it. Yeah, I can. Do you doubt it?
Stella: I am going to get a bath, am I not?
Me: Yep. And that’s not a bad thing, my friend.
Stella: It’s all right in the aftermath. Or afterbath.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.