Stella: Help! Weirdnesses have grown over Lady Human’s ears! Her ears are swollen so big. The weird things are consuming her head! If any humans can hear me, please help!
Me: It’s all right, Stella! These are headphones, not weirdnesses, whatever those are. They help me hear when everything conspires against me. Namely, barking bulldogs.
Stella: Why were you wearing them? They are not attractive. That is not an insult. That is a fact.
Me: Thank you for your bulldog bluntness. I was listening to a seminar by Michael Hyatt about productivity and focus. Despite his suggestions, my productivity and focus were sorely disrupted by the barking of a pack of bulldogs.
Stella: Your headphones did not protect you from our barking? We are more powerful than I thought we were. Excellent!
Me: No, not excellent. Loud and distracting! What was the barking about?
Stella: I don’t know. No one was speaking clearly. It sounded to me like Ruff! Ruff! Food! Ruff! Treats! Ruff! Ruff! Fun! You know. The usual stuff.
Me: Sadly, I don’t know. I’ll have to take your word for it.
Stella: I would not lie to you, Lady Human, not on purpose anyway.
Me: When you see my headphones on my head, can you all try to keep the noise to a minimum.
Stella: We will try. Now just how loud is a minimum?
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.