Lady Human put me in her car one day along with a bunch of interesting smelling stuff, a bag of treats, and several small bags of food. I was so excited because none of the others were coming, just me. And that’s as it should be. I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. No other bulldogs need apply.
We rode for a long time and when we stopped, we walked into a wide space surrounded by trees. What kind of a place was this? We were in someone else’s backyard. We could have stayed in ours. Ours has a fence. Here just anyone could walk up. There was no fence and no house to go into when it got dark or if it started to rain. She kept saying “campout”. I wanted her to stop. That word had an ugly sound like it had something to do with being outside. No. No. No. Inside dog. That’s me.
I took advantage of being outdoors to pee, but instead of leaving, Lady Human spread something on the ground and used long, thin, bendy sticks to raise it up. A tiny cloth house! Cool! That’s where I am sleeping tonight! I told her. Don’t get any ideas about me sleeping out in some stranger’s unfenced backyard. Why did we come here anyway?
Humans are strange creatures. But not as strange as cats.
The tiny cloth house was more comfortable than I imagined it would be. It had my portable crate and my regular bed and Lady Human had brought along my toys. She had a long soft pad that opened up and she could crawl into it. During the night, I left my crate and crawled into it, too. She acted as though there wasn’t enough room, but I pushed and pushed until I proved her wrong.
When daylight came back, we went to a building where Lady Human spoke her odd language with another human and all of a sudden we got into a little car that had no walls. My crate was not in it. Was it safe? My lady seemed to think so. She was not wearing a leash across her middle. She was turning the round toy that made the little car go one way and then another. Scary. She wanted me to sit beside her on the seat. I opted for the floor, thank you very much. It was closer to the ground.
We rode around in the weird little car for a while. There were huge creatures with long faces and very long pointy sticks coming out of the sides of their heads. They stared at us and chewed grass. A little grass now and then is fine, but these beasts made a meal out of it. Their stomachs must have really been upset. They looked angry. I am not happy when my stomach is upset either. I wished my lady would make the rolling car crate go faster. What if they had decided to throw up?
We ate outside. We slept in the tiny cloth house again. Then we ate outside. When it was dark, Lady Human spent a long time sitting in a chair, looking up into the black sky. She kept saying something about “moon”, but Moon the cat was not with us so I don’t know what that was about and I was tired, so I went to bed. Lady Human’s long pad was perfect. She would just have to sleep somewhere else.
Then we got into the real car with all the stuff including the tiny cloth house and we came home. Real home. Everything was the way we had left it. Which causes me to ask again – why were we outside?
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