Popcorn Barking – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am the human commonly referred to among the bulldogs as Lady Human.

Stella:    Hey, that’s my spot. Get out of my spot, Lady Human! I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges and…

Snoopey:   What?

Tiger:     Who?

Wiggles:   Bark…bark……bark…bark.

Doodlebug:   What?

Miss Sweetie:   Hey! Huh! What?

Me:        Okay, please stop. You sound like a bunch of popcorn kernels going off.

Wiggles:   Popcorn? Mmmmm!

Stella:    When?

Tiger:   Where? How?

Snoopey:   Ruff…..Ruff…Ruff. Ruff.

Me:        You see! Some of that doesn’t even make any sense.

Doodlebug:   Sense? What? What? What?

Tiger:     How? When? Where? What?

Wiggles:   Someone said popcorn.

Snoopey:   Look! Look!

Stella:    At what?

Snoopey:   Nothing.

Miss Sweetie:   Looking. I see nothing. Where’s the popcorn?

Me:        There is no popcorn.

Stella:    I distinctly heard someone say popcorn. Was it you, Tiger?

Me:        How could anyone hear anything with all this barking? You bark and then she barks and then he barks and then you bark again.

Stella:    Yep.

Miss Sweetie:   Why?

Stella:   Why what, Sweetie?

Miss Sweetie:   Why is there no popcorn?

Tiger:   Exactly. Ruuuuffff!

Miss Sweetie:   I will bark until there is popcorn. Ruff…Ruff…Ruff…

Me:        Noooo! Please don’t! Look! I’ll get you treats or supplements or something if it will calm you all down. No more popcorn barking.

Snoopey:   Where did she go?

Stella:   To the kitchen. You see. I told you it would work.

Miss Sweetie:   Aunt Stella, you’re the best.

Stella:   Okay, Sweetie, you can stop barking now.

Miss Sweetie:   Why?

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things…Or Visitors – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. First of all, allow me to explain what happened today…

Me:        Rudeness. That’s what happened today.

Stella:    Now, Lady Human, in all fairness…

Me:        Fairness? Can you imagine walking into a house to visit and the whole place erupts in wild barking?

Stella:    Yes, I can imagine that. It happened here today. It was crazy. Bulldog madness.

Me:        You were barking as much as everyone else. Our poor visitor felt totally unwelcome.

Stella:    Of course, she was unwelcome. We don’t let just anybody walk in here. Where was her invitation?

Me:        I invited her.

Stella:    Well, I didn’t. No one told me. Perhaps you should plan a little better next time. Bulldog invitations must be issued in plenty of time for us to get used to the idea of a stranger coming here.

Me:        And how much time is that?

Stella:    A year or two ought to be sufficient. I’ll let you know if that’s not enough.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.