The Revolving Door – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me:        Are you back from your vacation?

Stella:    Maybe. Maybe not. It remains to be seen.

Tiger:     Open the big door, please. I need to go outside.

Me:        Okay. Go ahead. Not too long though. It’s pretty warm today.

Doodlebug:   Why is Tiger going outside?

Me:        I guess because she needs to go potty.

Doodlebug:   I want to go outside, too. Do I have to go potty?

Me:        Well…no…not necessarily. Okay. Go ahead. No fussing or fighting. Do you need me to go with you?

Doodlebug:   No, I can potty on my own.

Me:        Well, I understand that. I don’t want you to get into a fuss with Tiger.

Doodlebug:   Okay. I’ll wait. Tiger acts weird when she is outside. She thinks the whole yard belongs to her.

Me:        Yeah. Tiger is a little touchy. I understand why, but we have to work with her. Oh, here she comes now.

Tiger:     Done and done.

Miss Sweetie:    Me. Me. Me. I need to go outside.

Me:        Very well. How about you and Doodlebug and Wiggles all go out together? Less in and out.

Miss Sweetie:    Never mind. I don’t need to go.

Wiggles:   Of course, you do, Sweetie. You always need to go.

Me:        All right. Here’s the deal. Everybody out or everybody in.

Stella:    How rude! Bathroom freedom!

Me:        Even my own parents had a rule about the in and out at this hot time of year. Go out or stay in. No revolving door. It sucks the air conditioning out.

Wiggles:   What is air conditioning?

Me:        It’s that wonderful machine that chills the air.

Wiggles:   I like that machine.

Me:        Well, the revolving door taxes its strength. We need a better system than popping up and down and always wanting to go out or come in.

Stella:    A system? Like you tell me when I need to go potty? Nope. I am the only one to say when I need to go potty. Bathroom freedom for all! Long live the revolving door!

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Your Idea of Fun Vs. My Idea of Fun – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and today has not been a very fun day and I feel the need to complain.

Me:        Is there ever a time you do not feel the need to complain?

Stella:    Certainly, Lady Human. Whenever I get to have as much fun as you humans do.

Me:        Every day is bulldog fun day.

Stella:    Nope. Today wasn’t. You and Tall Man went and came and came and went. You went somewhere…

Me:        Church.

Stella:    Nope. You were gone way too long for church. I timed you.

Me:        How?

Stella:    With my belly. When breakfast is digested, you get home from church.

Me:        Well, there was a church fellowship today so I stayed longer for that.

Stella:    And what did they have at this thing called a ‘fellowship’?

Me:        Brisket…

Stella:    Meat?

Me:        Yes. And they had sausage…

Stella:    More meat?

Me:        Yes. And bread…

Stella:    More meat?

Me:        No. But they had ice cream treats.

Stella:    And then?

Me:        A bounce house…

Stella:    I like those.

Me:        You have never been in one and they were for the kids. No dogs allowed.

Stella:    No fair! I’ll bet you had fun.

Me:        Yes, I’ll admit I did.

Stella:    Where was my fun today? Boo-hoo-hoo. Nowhere. That’s where.

Me:        All right, what’s your idea of fun?

Stella:    You scratching and rubbing my neck, between my ears, my belly, my back…

Me:        In other words, what we do every day.

Stella:    Yep. You’ve had your fun for the day. Now it’s time for mine.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.