An Easter Norther Stole Our Spring – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Yesterday it was what the humans call Spring. Today it is what I call freaking cold. Spring ran away. I guess it is afraid of the cold wind.

Me:        Yesterday the temperature was in the 80’s. Today it’s been in the 30’s. Welcome to Texas.

Miss Sweetie:    Why, Lady Human, why? The sky is blank. I can’t have a sunbath without a sun.

Me:        The Easter Norther was a week late this year.

Stella:    Easter Norther? Is that yet another horrible human invention? Are crazy people running things?

Me:        Nope. No human is in charge of the Easter Norther. Even after Spring has sprung, we usually get one last cold front right before Easter. I guess this one took the long way around.

Tiger:     My toes are cold. They were warm and now they are cold. This is a mysterious mystery. Who stole our Spring? And what is Spring anyway? And do we want it back? And how do we get it back if we do? These are questions that need answers.

Wiggles:   Please turn off the fans!

Me:        All the fans are off.

Wiggles:   Not the ones outside. They are blowing like the cold boxes in summer.

Me:        That’s the North Wind.

Doodlebug:        Well, Miss Easter Norther North Wind can keep her little jokes to herself from now on. Where is she anyway? I want to have a few words with her.

Me:        An Easter Norther can’t have a conversation. It is a weather front. It has no mouth.

Stella:    Of course, it does. It’s been spitting in my face all day long.



Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.







Blue Norther = Blue Nose – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges and I am not happy. I just thought everyone should know. Why should I keep my misery to myself?

Me:        What misery are we talking about this time?

Stella:    Haven’t you noticed? Don’t you feel it?

Me:        Well, if you’re talking about the weather…

Stella:    Those boxes that Tall Man put in the windows have frozen everything including my feet. They must be turned off immediately. Once upon a time a few hours ago, the air was fine. Now your boxes are forming icicles on my eyelashes.

Me:        First, those boxes are air conditioner window units and they are not on. They haven’t been for some weeks. Secondly, the air conditioners cool the air inside the house, not outside. What you are experiencing is a Blue Norther, a strong cold front that just roared in.

Stella:    Feel my toes. If I could guess a color, I would say they are blue. See what your Blue Norther has done.

Me:        It’s not my Blue Norther. It’s a weather front. I’m cold, too, so the sooner you get business done out here, the sooner we can get back inside.

Stella:    Oh, no! Something terrible is happening in my nose. When I breathe, smoke comes out! Smoke! My nose is on fire and freezing at the same time! Look! A big cloudy puff and it came right out of my bulldoggy nose. Lady Human, this is an emergency! Do something!

Me:        Stella, you do something and we can go back inside. And that is not smoke coming out of your nose. It’s the moisture in your breath condensing in the cold air.

Stella:    Make it stop!

Me:        If you think it’s cold now, wait until morning. The temperature is supposed to drop another 17 degrees or so.

Stella:    And you expect me to go the bathroom out here in a frozen wasteland! What if EVERYTHING freezes! Noooo!

Me:        I don’t think things work that way.

Stella:    If Tall Man can install cold air boxes in the windows, he can install a warm air bulldog bathroom inside. Make that two. I need my privacy. The others can share. I am Queen. I hereby decree it. Have the plans on my desk tomorrow.

Me:        Your desk? You have a desk?

Stella:     I’ll take the one in the front room. Every queen needs a desk. And a crown, remember?




Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.