I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I have noticed a disturbing trend in my nighttime snacks lately, Lady Human. I need an explanation.
Me: Sure. What disturbing trend?
Stella: The wonderful organic cheese crackers are fewer and farther between.
Me: I like to space them out so you don’t gobble them all at once.
Stella: Gobble is what I do. I am a bulldog. Look at my mouth. A mouth like this is not made for anything but gobbling.
Me: Still…
Stella: And that is not the only trend…
Me: There’s more?
Stella: Where is my special cheese? The good stuff! Not the cheesy cheese!
Me: I am parceling that out in smaller amounts, too. It’s better that you eat your regular food. A snack is, after all, just supposed to be a snack.
Stella: A likely story, Lady Human. I’ve seen what you call a snack.
Me: Hey, I’m bigger than you are.
Stella: And with the size of your snacks, you are likely to stay that way.
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Bulldoggy 