I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges…
Me: HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY, STELLA!
Wiggles: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Does that mean lots of special food for all of us?
Me: No, just a little extra regular food as a treat. The vet said that both of you have gained weight over the past few years.
Stella: I know! She called me ‘fat’ the other day! So rude!
Me: She did not call you ‘fat’. She noticed the gradual weight gain and she doesn’t want it to get out of control.
Stella: I am a bulldog! I am supposed to be out of control!
Doodlebug: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AUNT STELLA!
Miss Sweetie: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AUNT STELLA!
Stella: Thank you! Do you all have any cake?
Me: No, they don’t. There isn’t going to be any cake. None of us do cake around here, not even me. You know that. I’m not saying never, but it’s not our habit. Like Forrest Gump said, “One less thing”.
Miss Sweetie: Who is Forrest Gump?
Stella: He’s the human who took our cake.
Me: No, that was just a movie reference.
Doodlebug: What is a movie reference?
Stella: It’s an excuse for us not to get cake.
Me: Tiger, aren’t you going to wish Stella a ‘Happy Birthday’?
Me: That doesn’t sound like ‘Happy Birthday’ to me. You had a birthday just a few weeks back.
Stella: And we didn’t have cake for that one either.
Me: Oh, come on, Tiger. Just a little birthday wish.
Tiger: Hmmmph. Happy birthday. Hmmmph.
Stella: Thank you. I think.
Me: Fifth birthdays are great, Stella. They are a milestone.
Stella: I am missing someone, Lady Human.
Me: Yes, I know. I am, too.
Stella: This is Snoopey’s birthday, but she is not here to celebrate.
Me: How about we celebrate her birthday along with yours anyway? I mean, humans still celebrate the birthdays of people who have gone on. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, for instance.
Stella: Yes! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SNOOPEY!
Wiggles: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SNOOPEY!
Doodlebug: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SNOOPEY!
Miss Sweetie: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SNOOPEY!
Tiger: Hmmmph! Happy Birthday, Snoopey. Hmmmph!
Stella: They were not friends.
Me: I know. Still, Tiger, greatly appreciated. And from me, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STELLA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SNOOPEY!
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.