I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges and I should be treated better!
Me: Nobody has mistreated you, girl.
Stella: And don’t call me ‘girl’! I am the Queen and that vet lady today insulted me in addition to poking me with something sharp and sticking a… well, I don’t care to say what else she did.
Me: Oh, that was a thermometer. She just wanted to make sure that you didn’t have a fever.
Stella: Then she should have left me alone and stuck the thermometer outside. That’s where the fever is!
Me: That sharp poking was from a needle that she used to give you your rabies vaccine. It only happens once every three years.
Stella: Three years must be a very short time because I get poked with a sharp thing every time I go to the vet lady’s place.
Me: Well, the rabies vaccine is only every three years. Now there are other vaccines…
Stella: Of course! Always an excuse for a human to stick a poor old bulldog with a sharp thing!
Me: She said your ears looked really good, especially for a bulldog.
Stella: My ears are my best features.
Me: They are cute, but I think she was referring to how healthy they look on the inside.
Stella: So, she was insulting the health of bulldog ears?
Me: Bulldog ears are a challenge sometimes.
Stella: But that’s not the worst thing that the vet lady did. Did you hear? She called me ‘fat’! Me! The leanest, fastest bulldog on Earth!
Me: Okay, first off, she did not call you ‘fat’. She said that you have gained seven pounds since your last weigh-in a few years ago.
Stella: Same difference. Fat! How dare she!
Me: She doesn’t want you to become obese. That could hurt your joints, your heart, your health overall. Humans have to watch out for that as well. Especially as we get older.
Stella: What? Did she call me ‘old’, too?
Me: No, but you are going to have a birthday in a few days. Look, she understands that bulldogs can’t get a whole lot of exercise during hot weather.
Stella: Exercise! Another ugly word! Just as ugly as ‘fat’!
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Bulldoggy 