I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am sad to report that humans are still crazy. They have not improved at all. Last night and the night before that proved their lunacy to me yet again.
Me: Is this about the fireworks? That’s just something that people do every so often. It’s not that big a deal…
Stella: Not a big deal? Setting off loud, obnoxious explosions! Blowing up stuff! And calling it ‘fun’?
Me: When you put it that way, it does sound a little odd.
Stella: A little? Did you hear it?
Stella: It doesn’t bother you that people are setting fire to explosives and sending the fire up in the air? And why? Because it is super-hot, and they have nothing better to do? Really? If it’s hot, don’t set fire to anything else. Freeze something. Eat ice cubes. Squirt cool water on something. Dogs know these things. Why are humans crazy?
Me: It was a holiday that traditionally includes fireworks so…
Stella: So, go ahead and be crazy.
Me: Well…but I don’t think you have anything to block out tonight. The humans have shot their wad.
Stella: Another mysterious saying that means what?
Me: Fireworks aren’t cheap. They cost money. People buy what they can afford and, once they have shot them off, that’s pretty much it. The fireworks stand shut down. The ‘shot their wad’ expression comes from a long time ago when rifles and muskets had to be loaded with a wad of cloth that was rammed down the barrel with the shot. When the gun was fired, the wad blew out, too. Therefore, they had “shot their wad”. Now it just means that people have spent all they have to spend on a certain thing. Why are you looking at me that way?
Stella: You humans are very complicated creatures. You have long, boring stories behind everything you do. And regrettably, the stories prove my crazy point.
Me: You mean that your point is crazy.
Stella: Don’t put words in my mouth.
Me: Oh, Stella, I do that all the time.
Stella: And it must stop! I have a mind of my own!
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.