Alert: The Trees Are Full of Humans! – Conversations with Stella and Wiggles

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Wiggles is here to share what she witnessed out in the yard.

Me:        Well, let me tell you what was going on…

Stella:    Nope. Wiggles has the floor as the humans say even though it makes no sense because dogs always have the floor unless we want the couch or a big chair and then we have those, too…

Me:        I was there. I saw the whole thing.

Stella:    Boring. Humans talk all the time. Wiggles will give us the bulldog perspective. Go, Wiggles, go!

Wiggles:   Go? Where? Go where?

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Stella:    No, I mean tell us what you saw.

Wiggles:   Tree. Man. Flying man up in tree. Flying man with shiny sword up in tree. Me barking. And that’s about it.

Stella:    Okay, that made just about no sense at all. Lady Human, would you care to translate?

Me:        Sure, here is my boring translation: Tree – a man in our neighborhood had a tree in his yard that he needed to have trimmed. Man – actually, more than one man. The neighbor hired some men to trim the tree.

Stella:    See! I warned everybody. Boring! Get to the interesting part!

Me:        Flying man up in tree. Not a flying man. A climbing man.

Wiggles:   With a shiny sword.

Me:        With a shiny saw blade with which to cut branches.

Wiggles:   No, I don’t think so. Definitely a flying man. Definitely a shiny sword. And me barking. Did you see me barking at him? Did you see how brave I was?

Me:        Yes, I did see that.

Wiggles:   I told him off. I told him he’d better not fly over onto our trees and he didn’t. Let all flying men with shiny swords stay away.

Stella:    And yet the unarmed squirrels remain.

Wiggles:   Of course. Squirrels don’t need swords to be terrifying.

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

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