I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges and… what was that?
Me: What was what?
Stella: That!
Me: I don’t hear anything and everything looks normal. What’s going on, Stella? You are all chomping on your play bones like there’s no tomorrow.
Stella: There’s no tomorrow?
Me: Well, yes, I believe that there is going to be a tomorrow. Why are you all so freaked out?
Stella: Wait. Too busy chewing.
Snoopey: Don’t you feel it, Lady Human?
Me: If you mean the stress, I do. But we go on with life. Is this about all the hurricane news?
Stella: Yes. No. Maybe. Wait. More stress chewing needed…Okay. You don’t want us to be stressed out, but you all are stressed, and when the humans are stressed, the bulldogs are stressed. Oh, and the cat, too, but that doesn’t count.
Me: We are all fine. We are well and we are going to be well. Messages are getting through. Our family and friends down where the hurricane hit are fine. The waters got high but stopped at their doors. Praise the LORD! And now the waters are starting to subside in places. There will be a whole lot of work ahead, but we can do that. There’s been a lot of loss, but we can grieve that…later.
Wiggles: No, Lady Human! There is water in your eyes! Wait! Chewing on my dinosaur will help you. No! Wait! Let me chew on my dinosaur first.
Doodlebug: I need two extra bones over here, please.
Miss Sweetie: You only have one mouth, Doodle. Why do you need three bones?
Doodlebug: You have three bones.
Miss Sweetie: That’s different. I like to switch them out. Variety.
Stella: But this hurricane thing, Lady Human. People have died.
Me: Yes.
Stella: Animals have died.
Me: Yes.
Stella: Why?
Me: Sometimes things happen that are too big for humans to handle. Sometimes we get to thinking that we can do everything by ourselves. Sometimes we get reminded that we can’t. We aren’t even supposed to.
Tiger: May I switch from stress chewing to stress barking?
Snoopey: NO! I’m warning you, Tiger, if you start stress barking, I am going to stress bark louder and longer than you! And I’ll win and…
Tiger: No, I’ll win and you will have to shut up…
Me: NO! I’LL WIN AND EVERYBODY WILL HAVE TO SHUT UP!
Stella: Lady Human! Really! Do you need to borrow my chew bone? Because I think all humans need chew bones and you certainly do!
Me: Sorry. No, thanks. But I meant what I said about the stress barking. You hear?
Tiger: Yes, ma’am.
Snoopey: Yes, ma’am.
Stella: Why are you calling her ma’am? You don’t call me ma’am.
Snoopey: Pfffftt to that!
Tiger: Double pfffftt!
Wiggles: I’m freaking out, Lady Human. Can you pet my head?
Me: Sure.
Wiggles: Faster. Faster. More. More. More.
Me: Okay, back to normal mode.
Wiggles: Aw. There can never be too much head petting.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 