I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I have decided.
Me: Are you sure?
Stella: Yes. No. Yes. Maybe.
Me: Just let me know when you know.
Stella: All right. Okay. Now I am ready.
Me: Good.
Stella: No, wait! Yes. No. No. I don’t know.
Me: You are not usually indecisive.
Stella: What is ‘indecisive’?
Me: Hesitancy or inability to decide.
Stella: You decide for me.
Me: Very well. Go on outside and pee.
Stella: No! You can’t tell me what to do! Especially when it comes to peeing!
Me: Then have you decided to stay in for now?
Stella: Yes. No. Yes. Maybe.
Me: Go or not, it is not really that big a deal.
Stella: But what if I go out and one of the bulldogs gets my toys or licks my food bowl? You know how they are.
Me: I will get the toy back and what’s the big deal if someone does lick your food bowl. It will still be your bowl and all the food in it will be yours.
Stella: What if I go out and I don’t need to pee.
Me: No big deal. You can pee later.
Stella: But what if I don’t go out and you leave on one of your mysterious human trips and I do need to pee.
Me: I have decided not to go out today at all, so I will be here if you need to go out later.
Stella: How did you decide to stay in?
Me: I looked at what I have to do. I realized that there was no real reason for me to go out. We have all the food, supplies, and, yes, treats that we need. Going out today will accomplish nothing necessary or enjoyable. I decided to stay here and work on things I should do here.
Stella: So, I should look at what I need to do. I need to pee.
Me: Very well. Decision made.
Stella: No. Wait. Yes. No. Yes. Maybe.
Me: Stella, go outside.
Stella: Whew! What a relief! Thank you for deciding for me.
Me: I think your bladder would have decided for you at some point anyway.
Stella: What is a ‘bladder’?
Me: Never mind.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 