Me: That’s me! What? No long introduction about who you are?
Stella: There is no time! I am highly offended and I can’t let this nasty feeling wear off!
Me: Why do you want to hold on to a nasty feeling?
Stella: Being angry feels good.
Me: Yeah, sometimes. Until it sours your stomach. Dare I ask why you are offended?
Stella: Whether you ask or not, I will tell you. MOON THE CAT!
Me: What about her?
Stella: She looked right at me, right in the eye, and said…listen to this! She said, ‘MEOW!’ Aaaaaghhh! I am so mad!
Me: I am not good at interpreting cat dialects. That sounds like the same thing she says every day. Why is this different?
Stella: It was a cat insult and she meant it! MEOW! She shouted it! How would she feel if I said, “Hey, cat! How dumb are you!” Right in her face! On television, I saw humans carrying signs and marching in the streets. I want a sign, Lady Human! I want to march around the cat, carrying a sign that says, ‘Cat, shut up!’ and ‘No More Meows!’
Me: All right. This is going to sound like a lecture, but why don’t you just forgive her and go on with your life?
Stella: She yelled MEOW at me. That’s a fightin’ word.
Me: I figure every word a cat says to you is a fightin’ word. But not every word is worth fighting over. Why don’t you try walking up to her and saying something nice?
Stella: Like what? ‘Hey, Moon, your face isn’t as ugly today as it usually is.’
Me: Maybe something kinder like ‘Hey, I like the way you can jump up on tall things.’
Stella: I don’t like that. I never know when she is going to pounce on my head.
Me: She has never done that. I think you have blown this whole thing out of proportion.
Stella: Easy for you to say. She has never yelled MEOW in your face. You just wait. One of these days I am going to yell MEOW right back at her. Then we’ll see who out-cats who.
Me: Stella the Bull-cat.
Stella: What did you call me?
Stella: Aw, the nasty mood is fading. I knew it wouldn’t stay around.
Me: Aren’t you starting to feel better?
Stella: Yes. It’s terrible. I really wanted to carry that sign.
Me: Sorry, Stella. You’ll just have to wait until the next time.
Stella: Will there be a next time to be offended?
Me: Sadly, there always is.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.