Stop Calling Me ‘Miss Priss’! – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Spring has returned, and the days have been lovely and cool…

Tiger:     Halt! Stop! Enough! Too much!

Stella:    How dare you interrupt your queen!

Tiger:     Queen nothin’! Who do you think you are?

Stella:    I think that I am the Queen. I think that I am Stella.

Tiger:     So, I came in from outside and I was all playful and prancing and I greeted you and what did you do?

Stella:    Nothing important.

Tiger:     You puffed out your cheeks at me and then you called me, “Miss Priss” and said I was prissing around, whatever that means. So rude! And all I was doing was being friendly.

Me:        And Tiger, you locked eyes with her. And Stella, you locked eyes with Tiger. And friendly came to an abrupt stop.

Stella:    Yeah, Miss Priss. As queen, I decree that Tiger’s name is no longer Tiger, but she shall henceforth be known as ‘Miss Priss’.

Tiger:     There she goes again, Lady Human! My name is Tiger. Stop trying to change everybody’s name!

Stella:    If the prissy name fits, wear it.





Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

I Am So Mad and I Like It! – Conversations with Stella

Lady Human!

Me:        That’s me! What? No long introduction about who you are?

Stella:    There is no time! I am highly offended and I can’t let this nasty feeling wear off!

Me:        Why do you want to hold on to a nasty feeling?

Stella:    Being angry feels good.

Me:        Yeah, sometimes. Until it sours your stomach. Dare I ask why you are offended?

Stella:    Whether you ask or not, I will tell you. MOON THE CAT!


Me:        What about her?

Stella:    She looked right at me, right in the eye, and said…listen to this! She said, ‘MEOW!’ Aaaaaghhh! I am so mad!

Me:        I am not good at interpreting cat dialects. That sounds like the same thing she says every day. Why is this different?

Stella:    It was a cat insult and she meant it! MEOW! She shouted it! How would she feel if I said, “Hey, cat! How dumb are you!” Right in her face! On television, I saw humans carrying signs and marching in the streets. I want a sign, Lady Human! I want to march around the cat, carrying a sign that says, ‘Cat, shut up!’ and ‘No More Meows!’

Me:        All right. This is going to sound like a lecture, but why don’t you just forgive her and go on with your life?

Stella:    She yelled MEOW at me. That’s a fightin’ word.

Me:        I figure every word a cat says to you is a fightin’ word. But not every word is worth fighting over. Why don’t you try walking up to her and saying something nice?

Stella:    Like what? ‘Hey, Moon, your face isn’t as ugly today as it usually is.’

Me:        Maybe something kinder like ‘Hey, I like the way you can jump up on tall things.’

Stella:    I don’t like that. I never know when she is going to pounce on my head.

Me:        She has never done that. I think you have blown this whole thing out of proportion.

Stella:    Easy for you to say. She has never yelled MEOW in your face. You just wait. One of these days I am going to yell MEOW right back at her. Then we’ll see who out-cats who.

Me:        Stella the Bull-cat.

Stella:    What did you call me?

Me:        Nothing.

Stella:    Aw, the nasty mood is fading. I knew it wouldn’t stay around.

Me:        Aren’t you starting to feel better?

Stella:    Yes. It’s terrible. I really wanted to carry that sign.

Me:        Sorry, Stella. You’ll just have to wait until the next time.

Stella:    Will there be a next time to be offended?

Me:        Sadly, there always is.



Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.