Conversations with Stella – I Saw What You Did

Me:        I have invited Stella, the Olde English Bulldogge, to have a conversation today regarding…

Stella:    I know…I know. Something I did wrong. It has to be.  No one ever wants to talk to a bulldog about what went right. Poor old bulldog. Poor old Stella.

Me:        Stella, self-pity is unbecoming and undignified, especially in a bulldog.

Stella:    Well, someone has to do it. Who will pity me if I don’t pity myself?

Me:        Pity poor old Snoopey instead.

Stella:    Nope. She already gets too much attention.

Me:        She is the Alpha of the dogs. When she sounds an alarm, it’s never nonsense. There is always a reason and so we pay attention.

Stella:    Is her alarm bark why she gets so many softy toys?

Me:        No one has more softy dog toys than you do, which brings me to the subject at hand.  I saw what you did.

Stella:    You saw? Are you God?

Me:        No, of course not! Why? What else did you do?

Stella:    Well, what do you think I did?

Me:        I saw you sneak into Snoopey’s crate when she wasn’t around and I saw you take her favorite chicken toy. You hid it in your crate.

Stella:    Oh. That.

Me:        Yes, that. We have talked about this hoarding business.

Stella:    It is not a business. Yet. But it could be. Would you pay me extra treats to get that chicken toy back for Snoopey?

Me:        Now you are holding the chicken toy for ransom?

Stella:    I’m not asking much. Just a treat or two for finding it.

Me:        It was never lost. I know where it is.

Stella:    I…don’t…think…so.

Me:        Stella, what have you done?

Stella:    Nothing important. Why do you care? I didn’t take your chicken.

Me:        This is why you are not allowed around my stuffed animal collection.

Stella:    If you have too many, I can help you with them. They will all have a good home.

Me:        You are an official hoarder.

Stella:    With all due respect, as the humans say, it takes one to know one.


Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.






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