When in Doubt, Spit It Out! – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Pffft! Phew! Be careful what you allow in your mouth!

Me:        Hey! What’s the problem?

Stella:    Pffft! Phew!

Me:        You spit out your joint support supplement. I mean you really spit it out, like 6 inches worth. I don’t understand. You love those!

Stella:    What about me spitting it out do you not understand? When in doubt, spit it out.

Me:        What’s wrong with it?

Stella:    Where shall I begin? It tastes nasty.

Me:        But you liked it before.

Stella:    Tastes change. What can I say?

Me:        It’s good for your joints.

Stella:    You take it. It can be good for your joints instead.

Me:        It’s for dogs.

Stella:    Yeah, I’ll bet you tasted it and found out how nasty it is.

Me:        No, I didn’t.

Stella:    Well, try it. Then you will know what I have been putting up with.

Me:        What if…

Stella:    Don’t even think about it. I know what you are plotting. You are going to hide it in a piece of cheese or meat. Tasty, tasty cheese. Wonderful, aromatic meat. Mmmmm. No! No! Save your cheese. Save your meat. Give them to me later when you are not trying to fool me with a nasty hidden pill.

Me:        Well, here. At least take this piece of banana.

Stella:    Might as well. Banana is not my favorite, but…(chomp). Mmmm. Sweet. Soft. Wait. There was a lump in the middle. What have you done, Lady Human?

Me:        You had to take your flea, tick, heartworm medicine sometime, so…

Stella:    Awwwww! Fooled! No! I’ve already swallowed it.

Me:        Everything’s fine then. Done. No pests.

Stella:    It’s all the way down the pipe. Unconstitutional! I’ve been deprived of my God-given right to spit it out.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

The Big Tricky Ball of Meat – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Beware whenever a human offers you something that you really want. It may have something hidden inside.

Me:        Like the Trojan Horse.

Stella:    No one has ever offered me a horse. What would I do with it? Could I ride it? I don’t think so.

Me:        No, the Trojan Horse is from an old, old human story. It wasn’t a real horse. It was a hollow statue of a horse that had enemy soldiers hidden inside.

Stella:    Just like the Big Tricky Ball of Meat you offered me last night. You thought that I wouldn’t figure it out. But I did. You hid a nasty-tasting medicine pill in what otherwise was a delicious ball of salmon.

Me:        So, you tasted that after all. I should have made the salmon ball bigger.

Stella:    You admit it! A trick to get me to eat medicine.

Me:        Would you have eaten it without the meat?

Stella:    Of course not.

Me:        Everybody else did.

Stella:    Sillies. They have no sense of taste.

Me:        Do you know what the medicine was?

Stella:    No. Nor do I care.

Me:        It was flea and tick preventative.

Stella:    Flea. Tick. You mean those crawlies that bite and chew and… itch and ITCH AND ITCH!!!

Me:        Yep. Nasty-tasting pill doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?

Stella:    Mmmmm. Still a trick. Next time, better make that salmon ginormous.

Me:        Won’t that tip you off?

Stella:    Yeah, but I won’t care.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.