When Humans Let Cats Rule – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am witnessing the most ridiculous scene of the last one hundred years, at least since yesterday.

Me:        One hundred years? We truly have to work on your sense of time.

Stella:    Hey, I’m not the one who changed all the clocks and then complained about it. My stomach clock is still on Stella time. Doodlebug got up an extra hour early on his own. If you noticed, I didn’t budge.

Me:        I did notice. What is so ridiculous?

Stella:    You. The way you are sitting. The way you are letting the cat rule the roost. And she isn’t even a chicken.

Me:        I’m just allowing her a little bit to wake up from her nap.

Stella:    She is taking up most of your chair, Lady Human. YOUR CHAIR! NOT HER CHAIR! YOUR CHAIR! You are sitting on the edge of YOUR CHAIR, need I repeat it.

Me:        No, you need not. She’ll get up in a minute.

20180311_182243.jpg

Stella:    This is what results from humans cutting cats too much slack. I’ve never seen so much slack in my life. Just look at her, all slacky and stretched out and slinky and catlike. Yuck.

Me:        She’ll move.

Stella:    Famous first words.

Me:        The expression is ‘Famous last words’.

Stella:    Exactly. First words become last words and the cat is still there. Give a cat an inch and she’ll take over your chair. Another human saying.

Me:        Not exactly.

Stella:    Well, it should be. When humans let cats rule, no chair is safe.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Queen Stella’s Wise Sayings – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, hereby share with everyone my Wise Sayings. No one has ever written down wise sayings before so I am unique.

Me:        There have been quite a few humans who have written down wise sayings. For example, King Solomon recorded Proverbs…

Stella:    My sayings are wiser.

Me:        Forgive my doubts. Proverbs is in the Bible. I’ll stick with that.

Stella:    Now hear this! Wise saying #1: Ankles are the wrists of the legs.

Me:        Okay, well, I guess so.

Stella:    Wise saying #2: Never touch fire. It is hot.

Me:        That is more of a safety tip.

Stella:    But a wise one. Wise saying #3: Letting a squirrel guard your nut trees is like letting a robber guard a human bank. In the end, your trees will end up nut-less. The way ours did.

How many kinds of nuts do humans keep in banks?

Me:        We don’t keep nuts in banks.

Stella:    Oh, that’s where you keep our treats before they go to the stores.

Me:        Nope. We keep money in banks.

Stella:    Money? What a waste! You can’t eat money. Oh, that’s wise saying #4: You can’t eat money.

You see how wise my sayings are?

Me:        Yes, and practical. Without you, I would never have known that I can’t eat money.

Stella:    Bulldogs are wise, Lady Human. You should listen to us more often.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.