Afraid of the Dark – Conversations with Stella and Tiger

Me:        Stella? Hello?

Stella:    Huh? What?

Me:        It’s time to help with Tiger.

Stella:    Excuse me. I am watching the Picture Box. Hellooo…

Me:        What about the whole “I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges” thing?

Stella:    That only pops up when I am not on vacation. What’s the problem?

Me:        Tiger doesn’t want to go out because it is dark.

Stella:    So?

Me:        She needs to go out at least to potty.

Stella:    Don’t you think she knows that?

Me:        But she is letting her fear of the dark control her.

Stella:    You are the human. You are in charge. I am watching TV.

Me:        Oh, great.

Stella:    She won’t listen to me anyway. Watch. Hey, Tiger, you are being dumb. Go outside and pee.

Tiger:     Shut up, you! You’re not the boss of me!

Stella:    See? She doesn’t listen to me. She just wants to fight. You’re on your own, Lady Human.

Me:        All right. Tiger, go out.

Tiger:     Nope.

Me:        Tiger, go out now.

Tiger:     No way. I’m not going out there.

Me:        Why not?

Tiger:     It’s dark. I don’t know what’s out there.

Me:        The same thing that was out there this afternoon.

Tiger:     How do I know that?

Me:        Take my word for it.

Tiger:     Well…hmm…nope. How do I know it’s the same out there? How do I know that ugly monsters aren’t lurking out there in the shadows?

Me:        Oh, all right. I’ll go out in front of you and I’ll stay outside until you are ready to come back in.

Tiger:     Really?

Me:        Yes, follow me.

Tiger:     All right…Promise you won’t leave me.

Me:        I won’t. I’ll be right over here. Can you see me?

Tiger:     No, but I hear your voice. I can hear you breathing. I can tell by your scent that you are there. You won’t leave me?

Me:        Nope. I’m right here until you come home.

Tiger:     That’s all right then. The dark isn’t so dark when you are there.

Me:        Are you ready to go back inside?

Tiger:     Yes.

Me:         Let’s go in the house then.

Stella:    Great! Can everybody hush now so I can finish watching my show? No one has any respect for television anymore.



Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.







Bulldog Reveille – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. It is a dark and non-stormy night.

Me:        Excuse me. It is 6 o’clock in the morning.

Stella:    It is dark outside. Why is it dark outside? Where is the sun? Why did you wake me up at this unreasonable hour?

Me:        I did not wake you up at this unreasonable hour. You woke me up.

Stella:    Why did I wake you up at this unreasonable hour? Oh, I remember. Potty.

Doodlebug:        Breakfast call! Breakfast call! Breakfast call!

Me:        Okay, I hear you, Doodle.

Doodlebug:        Breakfast call! Breakfast call! Breakfast call!

Me:        All right, Doodle! I hear you!

Doodlebug:        Breakfast call! Breakfast…

Stella:    Potty call comes first! Coming through! Running out!

Me:        Here’s your breakfast. And your breakfast. And your breakfast. And your breakfast. And Stella’s breakfast.

Tiger:     Why are we eating in the dark?

Me:        Ask Stella and Doodlebug.

Tiger:     Doodle, why did call breakfast so early?

Doodlebug:        My stomach said it was the right thing to do.

Miss Sweetie:    But I don’t want to potty in the dark.

Me:        Then just run outside and run back in. The outside light is on.

Wiggles:    It’s no different than pottying in the sun, Sweetie. The landmarks are all the same.

Tiger:     Doodlebug should not be calling breakfast. I should be.

Wiggles:   If we waited for that, Tiger, we would never have breakfast.

Doodlebug:        Besides, my voice is bigger because my head is bigger.


Me:        Doodle, do you realize that about 2 weeks ago, it would have been 5 o’clock in the morning right now instead of 6 a.m.?

Doodlebug:        No.

Me:        What I mean is you are going the wrong way. Breakfast is getting earlier and earlier.

Doodlebug:        Earlier breakfast. That doesn’t sound wrong to me.






Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.