Bulldog Ballet – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Doodlebug:        And I am Doodlebug Dancing Dog. Please use my full name.

Miss Sweetie:    Nope. It’s too long. I will keep calling you Doodle.

Me:        He always makes me laugh when he does that. I just wish I knew when he was going to do it.

Stella:    What? That prancing he does on his hind legs? That’s not dancing. That’s two-footed, tall dog begging. Haven’t you noticed, Lady Human?

Me:        Noticed what?

Stella:    He only does it when you have food in your hands. I thought humans were smart and observant. I guess I was wrong again.

Tiger:     That’s nothing. Look what I can do. Spin. Spin. Spin. Now the other way. Spin. Spin. Spin.

Me:        You two should start a ballet company. Toe dancers.

Wiggles:   I can dance. Watch. MMMPH! UMMMPH! No, I can’t. Never mind.

Me:        You can comma dance. More like tap dancing than ballet…

Wiggles:   That makes me Wiggles Comma Dancer.

Tiger:     What is my dancing name?

Stella:    Tiger Twinkle Toes.

Tiger:     How dare you!

Me:        How about something that takes your spinning into account? Something like Tiger Torque Wrench.

Tiger:     Yes, that is more dignified for a strong bulldog like me. Thank you, Lady Human.

Me:        Miss Sweetie, do you want to dance?

Miss Sweetie:    Mmmm, nope.

Me:        It would be good exercise.

Miss Sweetie:    I already exercise. Cat chasing. Couch jumping. Rampaging. Oh, and the most important exercise. Napping. Call me Sweetie Snooze Sleeper.

Stella:    No one is going to buy a ticket to watch that.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Don’t Step on the Other Dancers – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Bulldogs are dancers. Tap dancers, mostly. But we also do ballet.

Me:        Really? I have trouble picturing that. I’ve seen y’all dance, but never ballet.

Stella:    Just watch me.

Me:        Sticking your hind leg out behind you and shaking it does not quite qualify as ballet dancing.

Stella:    My interpretation of it.

Me:        Okay. If you say so.

Stella:    But I have one rule when dancing, a rule that Wiggles violated.

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Me:        Well, Wiggles is taking a nap now so…

Stella:    The rule, you ask?

Me:        I didn’t really ask.

Stella:    The rule is ‘Don’t step on the other dancers!’

Me:        Sounds like a good rule.

Stella:    All my rules are good rules.

Me:        Okay. If you say so.

Stella:    I do. I saw you trying to dance and Wiggles started her comma dance and stomped on your feet.

Me:        You saw me dancing.

Stella:    I saw you trying. Don’t worry. You just keep on trying. I won’t tell anybody. You could sign up for lessons with me if you’d like.

Me:        Sign up? You teach dance lessons? Since when?

Stella:    Since I saw you trying to dance. Bottom line, as the humans say, don’t step on the other dancers. Rule #1. Rule #2 – Always pay your dance teacher on time. I accept treats at 9 a.m., noon, 4 p.m., and midnight.

Me:        Midnight? I’m not staying up until…

Stella:    All right. Midnight is negotiable. Oh, and remember something else. Don’t dance with Wiggles. She is a foot stomper. And a prima donna.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.