Me: Sweetie, what are you doing?
Sweetie: Just stay seated where you are, Lady Human.
Me: You’re nudging my leg over.
Sweetie: Yes, it’s almost perfect. There. The perfect head rest. Just the way I like it.
Me: You might want to ask me first next time. There are things I need to get up to do.
Sweetie: Never you mind about all that, ma’am. Being my head rest is the only job you have for now.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Errrrrr…
Sweetie: Errrrrr yourself! My errrrrr is better than your errrrrr. You just sound like wah, wah, wah…
Doodlebug: Says who?
Sweetie: Says ME, that’s WHO!
Me: What’s all the noise about?
MoonCat: Nothing important enough to wake me from my nap, that’s what!
Sweetie: Where’s my snack? And where has the sun gone? How can I sunbathe without a sun to bathe in?
Doodlebug: And when it going to stop raining? Stupid sky!
Me: Anything else y’all want to complain about? No, forget I said that.
Sweetie: As a matter of fact…
Doodlebug: Don’t get me started.
Me: Too late for that apparently.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: I’m confused.
MoonCat: Is that new and unusual?
Me: What’s the confusion?
Sweetie: Those chattering birds.
Me: The parakeets.
Sweetie: Whatever. I need a word book to understand them.
Me: Like a dictionary?
Doodlebug: Like a “this means this” and “that means that” book, because they make no sense at all and they only talk birdy talk all the time.
MoonCat: Excuse me, please, while I spend my day in a worthwhile pursuit – naptime.
Doodlebug: Start pencil scratching, Lady Human. First word: “Ack”. Always said in a loud voice.
Me: Well, I’m not sure, but it seems to mean they’re excited.
Sweetie: ACK!
Me: Oh, that’s way loud!
Sweetie: I’m bulldog excited! Okay, keep writing! Next word…
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
If it’s heavy, if it’s not yours, if you shook it off before and it came back, drop it again! Even a bulldog doesn’t have to carry everything!
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
“Do I look as though I’m giving up?”
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. The sky is screaming again, Lady Human.
Me: Stay calm and stay inside, y’all. That’s just the storm siren.
Sweetie: Just? Just?
Me: We’re alright.
Sweetie: The sky is throwing ice cubes at us! Is that alright? What is it trying to do? Make iced tea?
Me: That’s hail. It’s one reason we have a roof and walls.
Doodlebug: What are the other reasons? What else is the sky plotting to chunk at us?
Sweetie: I am going to write a strongly worded letter to the humans in charge of weather. Whoever that is, they are not doing a good job!
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: The wind, Lady Human! The wind.
Me: Yeah, when I was a kid, we used to say that winds like this were likely to carry off anything not nailed down.
Doodlebug: It’s about to carry me off! Nail me down!
Bud: Nail. Nail.
Me: Don’t worry. Y’all are safe inside.
MoonCat: Good. Fussing time is naptime for me. Good night.
Sweetie: Nail me down, Lady Human, so I don’t blow away! I’m not that chubby! Really I’m not!
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, look! The sky got swept clean. The blue is showing again. You actually swept up the dirt from something. Good for you!
MoonCat: Well done. I’m taking a nap. Y’all can fuss on your own.
Me: I didn’t sweep the sky clean. Credit where credit is due. The Great Creator took care of all that. The winds died down. The dirt fell to earth and settled in a new place.
Doodlebug: I’m glad He worked that out because had we waited for you to use your broom…
Sweetie: We’d still be waiting.
Copyright 2025 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Aaah-choo! Unacceptable, Lady Human! Absolutely unacceptable!
Sweetie: Who messed up the sky? It is a funny brownish color. It is making my nose itch. Don’t tell me. Let me guess. Humans did it.
Me: Well, actually…
Sweetie: Don’t try to shirk your responsibility, ma’am. We know who causes these problems.
MoonCat: We know it’s not cats.
Me: The color is caused by dust in the air stirred up by high winds these last few days. It’s as though half of west Texas got blown over here.
Doodlebug: Then half of west Texas can take it back. I will issue a royal edict.
Sweetie: Yeah, that always works.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Oh, that old chestnut.
Mooncat: I prefer the term ‘that old canard’. It sounds less bulldoggy.
Baby and Bud: Canard. Canard.
Sweetie: Oh, no! Don’t get them started!
Doodlebug: Too late.
Baby and Bud: Canard. Canard.
Sweetie: Here we go. Another old chestnut gone off the rails.
Copyright 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Hey, y’all. It’s still pretty chilly. Here, Sweetie, try on this sweater I crocheted. Doodle, I have some more sweaters you can try…
Doodlebug: Nope.
Me: Well, go ahead and try this one, Sweetie.
Sweetie: Nope.
Me: It’s plenty big and nice and warm…
Sweetie: Nope.
Me: Okay, Doodlebug. You go ahead and…
Doodlebug: Noooooo.
Me: Come on, y’all.
Sweetie: Let me spell this like the humans do. NO!
Me: In that case, MoonCat…
MoonCat: Don’t even look in my direction.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
To keep sky water from falling on your head, wear a bigger hat.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Look! Look! See!
Me: See what? Where?
Sweetie: The ground! It’s back! Right where it belongs.
Me: You mean the snow is pretty much gone.
Sweetie: And the earth has returned.
MoonCat: Oh my! Bulldogs. I give up.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human! Help! It is awful! And cold! And white! And wet! And weird! And it’s falling from the sky!
Me: It’s snow.
Doodlebug: Why?
Me: Conditions just got right and there it is. Snow.
Sweetie: Make it stop.
Me: It’ll do that soon enough on it’s own.
Sweetie: NO! NOW!
MoonCat: Calm down, silly bully. Do what sane animals like cats do. Take a nap.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: You look disgruntled, boy.
Doodlebug: If disgruntled is the human word for COLD, then I am DISGRUNTLED!
Sweetie: It’s just another case of the humans not managing things very well.
MoonCat: Oh, dogs, dogs, dogs. Get snuggled down in your blankets and cushions. Tuck your chunky bulldog paws under you. Then bury your gigantic noses in a pillow. Simply compensate for human mismanagement
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Don’t look now, but the beady eyed birds are staring.
Doodlebug: At what?
Sweetie: I said don’t look!
Me: Why are you all agitated?
Doodlebug: Sweetie thinks the little budgies are staring at us.
Me: Well, apparently they are.
Sweetie: They’re invading our space with their eyeballs.
MoonCat: I don’t mind. When someone stares at me, it just means that they’re admitting the truth. I’m good to look at.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: How come you’re so quiet, Lady Human?
Me: I’m just thinking.
Doodlebug: Uh-oh.
MoonCat: A human thinking. Never a good thing. Hide!
Me: No, nothing bad. It’s just another holiday. New Year’s.
Sweetie: Where is its tree?
Me: New Year’s doesn’t get its own tree.
Doodlebug: Poor New Year’s. What does it get?
Me: Some people party. Some people cook a bunch of food. Some people shoot off fireworks. And some people like me are just quiet and think a lot. About the past. About the future.
Sweetie: About the food? Where are those food people? Let’s go New Year with them!
Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, someone has made a mistake and brought a dead tree into our house.
Sweetie: No, they did it on purpose. They do this all the time.
Me: Not really. Just once a year. It’s Christmas.
Doodlebug: Did you bring it inside so the little birds could play on it?
Sweetie: Did you bring it in so it wouldn’t get wet and cold?
Me: No, it’s a traditional decoration for Christmas. You’ve seen them before. Not a big deal.
Sweetie: Uh, a tree in our house? Looks like a big deal to me.
Doodlebug: So if it keeps raining, can I just hike my leg and…
Me and Sweetie: NO!
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Watch where you step. I do.
Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I always knew I was!
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 