I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Okay, Doodlebug! This is the second time I’ve found the cheese cracker box on the ground and this time the bag has been pulled out of it. Did you do this?
Doodlebug: How dare you accuse the king of stealing cheese crackers! Kings do not steal crackers. They are offered crackers by their humble subjects which, by the way, you have not done for several days so if I had tried to sneak a snack, who could have blamed me?
Miss Sweetie: Do I look as though I could have jumped up on the counter and knocked that cracker box down? Next candidate?
Me: You did this.
Me: You’ve never even tasted a cheese cracker before.
MoonCat: It was about time I did. Honorary bulldog, remember?
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