I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. No! No! NO! Not again! Noises, Lady Human! Stop them!
Me: What? What’s going on?
Stella: It is the middle of the night. SLEEP TIME!
Me: Yep. You’re right. But the only noise I hear is your…okay, wait.
Stella: You hear it? The Queen never lies and is never wrong.
Me: Well, I wouldn’t go quite that far, but you are right…
Stella: Of course, I am. There it is again. What is that?
Me: It’s one of the alarms chirping.
Stella: Alarms. Should I be alarmed?
Me: No. Just annoyed.
Stella: Too late. I’m already annoyed.
Me: That sound means ‘low battery’ and, naturally, it chose 2 a.m. to let us know. We missed changing the batteries in that one. I bet I know which one. Yep. One of the carbon monoxide alarms.
Stella: An alarm CHOSE to wake us up for no good reason!
Me: Figure of speech.
Stella: If that thing is smart enough to beep when its power is low, how come it’s not smart enough to beep at a decent hour?
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