Good Fences Make Good Neighbors – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, I have been worrying about something. Is our fence strong enough?

Me:  If you’re worried about the coyotes, our fence should be enough. People say they can scale a six-foot fence. Ours is eight feet.

Stella:  Who cares what people say? Has anyone asked a coyote? But I am not talking about coyotes. I’m worried about possums.

Me:  Possums are a bigger problem than a coyote pack?

Stella:  Now you understand. Are we possum proof?

Me:  Uh, well, no.

Stella:  So our fence is strong enough to keep coyote out but not strong enough to keep possums out.

Me:  The strength is not the issue. Possums can climb over the fence.

Stella:  Then stop them.

Me:  The only way to stop them would be to cover the whole yard with a barrier. We’re probably not going to do that just to uninvite a few possums.

Stella:  Then do the next best thing. Do what the humans do. Put up a big sign that says, “NO TRESPASSING BY POSSUMS ALLOWED”.

Me:  Can possums read?

Stella:  Not my problem. I just make the suggestions. You teach the possums to read.

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