I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. The humans are tense. Again.
Tiger: Are they doing that stupid voting thing? They always act up during those times.
Stella: Yeah, but that is not why they are acting up right now. It has something to do with toilet paper.
Miss Sweetie: What is that?
Wiggles: You know. That funny paper on a roll that hangs on the wall in their potty rooms.
Doodlebug: The stuff that covers the floor when I hit it with my feet. That is fun stuff. The humans don’t seem to like that game.
Stella: Lady Human seems to think that paper is important and must hang on the wall. Who understands humans? They are very weird.
Me: What are you grumbling about?
Stella: The humans are tense again, and that always makes us tense. What can we do to help you?
Me: Not much right now. Just be your own adorable, lovable selves. That helps us a lot during tense times.
Tiger: Lady Human, do you need the funny paper rolls? We can go dig some up in the yard.
Me: Toilet paper? No, I found some at a store down the street yesterday after I got back from the feed store with your extra food. We have enough of your dog food for about 5 ½ weeks now.
Stella: After that, will we eat toilet paper?
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