I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human is always complaining about our behavior. We’re rude. We’re loud. Well, what do you think about our behavior now, ma’am?
Me: Are you referring to the cat?
Stella: I saw what she did. There you were being all nice to her and brushing out her hair and she was all quiet and then…BOOM! Cat screech! Cat scratch! And why? Because cat! That’s why!
Me: Yeah. Cats have a way about them, don’t they?
Stella: Is that all you’re going to say? What about inappropriate behavior? How about blah, blah, blah, cut that out?
Me: You have to talk to cats differently than you do to dogs.
Stella: I don’t have to talk to cats at all!
Me: I mean dogs respond to humans in a different way. For example, I point and tell you to go a certain direction, most of the time, you do.
Stella: I do not! How insulting to suggest such a thing!
Me: I mean dogs tend to cooperate with us a little more than a lot of cats do. I don’t mean that bulldogs are pushovers.
Stella: I still think you need to lecture the cat on appropriate behavior.
Me: And what do you think Moon Cat’s response will be to a lecture?
Stella: Meow.
Moon Cat: Meow.
Stella: Typical.
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