I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human! SCRATCH MY BUTT!
Me: Stella! Hush your mouth!
Stella: My mouth is too big to hush. Here! Look! I’m sticking my butt in the air! SCRATCH IT! You know you want to.
Me: You don’t have to make a big show of it.
Stella: It’s a bulldog butt. It is a big show.
Me: When I was growing up, we were discouraged from spending a lot of conversation time talking about our…rear ends.
Stella: Your conversations must have been very boring. And you must not have talked to many bulldogs.
Me: I never knew a bulldog before I met you.
Stella: Wow! No wonder you don’t know how important butt scratching is. Here’s my butt in the air again. SCRATCH IT!
Me: Okay, okay! Hush! Please stop talking about your…rear end.
Stella: And make that funny, annoying noise that you do when you scratch it.
Me: What, you mean like this, “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
Stella: That’s perfect! Just like my butt.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.