If It Looks Like a Snake and Sounds Like a Snake – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Stella:    There’s a big snake loose in my house! Oh, excuse me. I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. There’s a big snake loose in my house!

Me:        Now, Stella, we’ve been over this before.

Stella:    There’s a big snake loose in my house and, as usual, Lady Human is doing nothing to stop it.

Tiger:     Look! It is wrestling with Tall Man! And Tall Man is losing!

Me:        Tiger! Stella! Calm down! It is not a snake!

Stella:    I know a snake when I see one! I have watched plenty of nature shows on the Picture Box. I am an expert.

Wiggles:   I can stop it! My mouth is plenty big.

Me:        Y’all need to calm down before you overheat.

Doodlebug:        Better to overheat than to be eaten by a giant snake!

Miss Sweetie:    Lady Human, please don’t let me get eaten by a giant snake!

Me:        Nobody is getting eaten by any snake. That is the hose on Tall Man’s shop vac. You have all seen it before.

Tiger:     No.

Stella:    Nope.

Wiggles:   Not me.

Doodlebug:   Me either.

Miss Sweetie:    I’ve seen it before in one of my bad dreams. No. Wait. That was a big stick.

Me:        Listen to me, please! He is doing a few minutes of heavy cleaning in here. It is so warm outside that he didn’t want to put you outside. But you have to stay calm.

Tiger:     Calm? What’s that?

Stella:    It means we are to stay still while a giant snake eats us.

Me:        Stella, that is not a snake. And it is not going to eat anybody. It is sucking up dirt and dog hair.

Stella:    You see! It sucks up dog hair but not cat hair! It has come to destroy us!

Me:        Well, it sucks up both. It’s just that there is so much more dog hair in here than cat hair. All right, there! It’s off and he is taking it away.

Doodlebug:        Yay! Tall Man won the battle. The great big snake lost!

Wiggles:   Finally. I’m exhausted. Nap time.

Miss Sweetie:    Where did the snake go?

Me:        It’s not a snake, Sweetie. And the shop vac is stored in the garage.

Miss Sweetie:    The big snake lives in the garage? I don’t like that. I go out there sometimes. What if it tries to eat me?

Me:        I give up.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

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