I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am grossed out. I think that is the right way to say that I am grossed out.
Me: Are you disgusted?
Me: Is your stomach turned?
Me: Then ‘grossed out’ is the proper term.
Stella: Do you know that Doodlebug threw up? A whole bunch?
Me: Yes, I certainly do.
Stella: Doodle! Why would you do such a thing in the house?
Doodlebug: Uuuhhh. Yuck.
Me: Well, let’s see here. There are one…two…three leaves, completely intact. Were you eating leaves earlier?
Me: Don’t eat leaves.
Snoopey: I’ve eaten leaves and THAT didn’t happen.
Me: Probably different leaves. There is an oak leaf and 2 heart-shaped leaves I don’t recognize. I’ll have to do a search of the yard. Doodlebug, don’t eat leaves!
Doodlebug: It’s all right, Lady Human. I feel better now.
Stella: Gross! If you are going to make yourself sick, please have the courtesy to the rest of us to do it OUTSIDE!
Doodlebug: I wasn’t trying to make myself sick. I was minding my own business and it just happened.
Stella: Since when does it just happen? Stop eating stuff you find in the yard. Leaves, and yes, I will say it out loud. Poop!
Miss Sweetie: Ummm! Aunt Stella said an ugly word. She said ‘poop’.
Me: Yes, poop is a big issue since y’all came.
Miss Sweetie: Funny word. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop.
Me: It’s okay to say ‘poop’. It is not okay to eat it. So there! I said that! Doodle, are you listening?
Doodlebug: The leaves made me sick. They were stuck to the poop.
Stella: That’s the point. You wouldn’t have eaten the leaves if you hadn’t been eating the…you know…don’t make me say it again.
Miss Sweetie: Poop. I said it for you, Aunt Stella.
Me: Okay. The mess is cleaned up. Can we move on to a more pleasant subject?
Stella: Sure, but first, all this talk about…you know what…has made me want to go outside and…you know what.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.