I, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, am entertaining a question from Lady Human. Human queens call this an audience, but that is strange because only the two of us are here. Anyway, go on and ask thy question.
Me: Very gracious of you.
Stella: Indeed, it is. Pray, what is thy question?
Me: Why are you talking like that?
Stella: Thou hast been playing the Picture Box a lot with many people on it talking this way. I think that they speak prettily.
Me: I suppose they do. Now for my question…
Stella: I have already answered thy question.
Me: No, I haven’t asked it yet.
Stella: Yes, thou didst. Thou asked about my pretty talk.
Me: That was just because it sounded so weird coming from your mouth. I had another question.
Stella: Thou hast my permission to proceed. Ask thy annoying question.
Me: How do you know it is annoying?
Stella: All human questions are annoying. I would rather be napping.
Me: Okay, what I want to understand is…
Stella: No, thou hast already asked thy second question.
Me: Hey, not fair!
Stella: I am Queen. I decide what is fair.
Me: That alone is grossly unfair.
Stella: Silence, churl!
Me: Okay, off goes the television.
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