Hello! I am Stella, Queen Illustrious and Noble of the Olde English Bulldogges. I can hear Lady Human talking loudly outside where she has been doing yard work with Doodlebug. She is saying one word over and over – “YUCK!” Why she is saying the YUCK word, I have no idea. That word is usually reserved for bathroom matters or bulldog flatulence or regurgitation. (Human words get longer and longer when referring to normal life. Why not just say ‘gas’ and… what is regurgitation again? Oh, yeah, well, never mind. Humans are so sensitive.)
Lady Human! What is the Yucking for?
Me: Doodlebug had this foot-long…
Stella: Hot dog? The good eating kind? Where’s mine?
Me: No, foot-long drool, the thick, sticky kind. And he shook his head and it landed on my bare arm and… Yuck! Cold. Nasty. Drool.
Stella: Doodlebug! Why did you sling your drool?
Doodlebug: Huh? Drool? What drool?
Stella: Of course, you say that now. You slung it off and it flew through the air and landed on Lady Human.
Stella: No! Not funny!
Doodlebug: Aw, Aunt Stella.
Stella: Aunt Stella nothing! You don’t see Lady Human slinging her drool on you!
Me: I don’t drool!
Stella: Have you ever watched yourself nap? But you are polite enough not to sling it.
Me: Aagghh! What was that?
Stella: Miss Sweetie shook her head. Looks like you have some more goo on your arm.
Me: Excuse me while I go take a shower.
Stella: I don’t think that drool stinks, but go on if you must. We’ll stay right here and have more drool strings waiting when you get back.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.