Hello. I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I will not be saying much today because I am pouting and, to be effective, pouting must be done correctly. So there. Hmph!
Me: Pouting. Pouting about what?
Stella: Hmph!
Me: Stella, what’s got you all pouty?
Stella: Paahrrrr!
Me: I see you blowing your cheeks out.
Stella: Paahrrrr!
Me: Here let me try. Pruhhh!
Stella: No, not like that. It has to be done right to get a reaction. Like this – Paahrrrr! Blow your cheeks out more. Not so much lip fluttering.
Me: Why so pouty?
Stella: Hmph. I don’t have to answer that question.
Me: Oh-kay. Well, I’m going to read a little and then take a nap. See you later.
Stella: NOOOO! I AM POUTING. WATCH ME POUT!
Me: I wonder if there is something good on TV. No, probably not.
Stella: PAY ATTENTION! Pouting is no good unless somebody watches you do it. NO ONE CAN POUT ALONE!
Me: I am glad you told me the rules. Now, if you’ll excuse me…
Stella: NO! No excusing. Watch me pout. Pay attention to ME! I AM MAD! Well, not mad. I don’t want anyone to think that I am a “mad dog” because people don’t like “mad dogs” and I’m not a “mad dog”. I have had all my shots and…
Me: I thought you weren’t going to talk much today. How about just admitting that you are pouting because I won’t let you jump on the cat and she is over on the couch right now, resting on her cat bed.
Stella: Hmph! Pout. Pout. Pout. Hmph! All these people talking about a dog’s purpose. I’ll tell you what this bulldog’s purpose is – to chase that cat. And to pout when I don’t get my way. So here I am – Stella, the Cat-Chasing, Cat-Catching, Cat-Scratched, Pouting-Like-a-Boss Bulldog, being kept from fulfilling my bulldog purpose. Mwaah!
Me: Hey, how about a treat?
Stella: Sure! Give it here! You know napping may be one of my other purposes. I’ll pursue that one for a little while and get back to the other ones later.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 
Moon, darling, deploy your claws or, at the very least, threaten to deploy your claws. Even a Queen’s nose is not immune to razor-sharp Cat daggers. Purrs, Quicksilver et al
LikeLike
This is Moon the Cat. Thank you, Quicksilver, for your advice. My claws are sharp and ready. I have pinpricked Stella’s nose and muzzle before. (I refuse to call her ‘Queen’. I mean really? Who does she think she is?) All the other bullydogs are polite. Only Stella plays rough. Of course, she has never bitten me, but drooling…please. Keep your saliva to yourself.
Sweet cat naps and dreams,
Moon
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Moon, Stella may call herself a Queen, but you are surely an Empress. Defend yourself! Empresses are not to be drooled upon. Purrs, Quicksilver et al
LikeLiked by 1 person
I laughed all the way through this picturing my bulldog Nugget:) love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
All the best to you and Nugget!
LikeLiked by 1 person