Hello. I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I will not be saying much today because I am pouting and, to be effective, pouting must be done correctly. So there. Hmph!
Me: Pouting. Pouting about what?
Me: Stella, what’s got you all pouty?
Me: I see you blowing your cheeks out.
Me: Here let me try. Pruhhh!
Stella: No, not like that. It has to be done right to get a reaction. Like this – Paahrrrr! Blow your cheeks out more. Not so much lip fluttering.
Me: Why so pouty?
Stella: Hmph. I don’t have to answer that question.
Me: Oh-kay. Well, I’m going to read a little and then take a nap. See you later.
Stella: NOOOO! I AM POUTING. WATCH ME POUT!
Me: I wonder if there is something good on TV. No, probably not.
Stella: PAY ATTENTION! Pouting is no good unless somebody watches you do it. NO ONE CAN POUT ALONE!
Me: I am glad you told me the rules. Now, if you’ll excuse me…
Stella: NO! No excusing. Watch me pout. Pay attention to ME! I AM MAD! Well, not mad. I don’t want anyone to think that I am a “mad dog” because people don’t like “mad dogs” and I’m not a “mad dog”. I have had all my shots and…
Me: I thought you weren’t going to talk much today. How about just admitting that you are pouting because I won’t let you jump on the cat and she is over on the couch right now, resting on her cat bed.
Stella: Hmph! Pout. Pout. Pout. Hmph! All these people talking about a dog’s purpose. I’ll tell you what this bulldog’s purpose is – to chase that cat. And to pout when I don’t get my way. So here I am – Stella, the Cat-Chasing, Cat-Catching, Cat-Scratched, Pouting-Like-a-Boss Bulldog, being kept from fulfilling my bulldog purpose. Mwaah!
Me: Hey, how about a treat?
Stella: Sure! Give it here! You know napping may be one of my other purposes. I’ll pursue that one for a little while and get back to the other ones later.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.