I am Stella, Illustrious Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I am in charge here. Whatever that horrible noise is, stop it now!
Snoopey: It sounds like a fake bulldog.
Stella: It must stop! Now everybody is barking at it! Agghh! Now Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie are barking at each other! Wiggles! What are you barking at?
Wiggles: Everybody else is barking. So…me, too!
Stella: What started this?
Me: It must have been me. I was gargling.
Stella: Why would you do such a horrible thing? What is gargling and how can it be stopped?
Me: It’s like juggling water in the back of my throat. It may help me get my whole voice back sooner.
Stella: Wait! You found your voice? Was it in the back yard as I thought? Anyway, can you juggle the water in your throat someplace where it won’t bother the bulldogs? You heard the eruption.
Me: Maybe. Maybe not. I think they will hear me anywhere in the house.
Stella: Gargling must be human barking.
Me: I don’t think so. I think human barking would be…well, barking. Or yelling. Gargling may not have a dog correlation.
Stella: Dog correlation? You are being confusing again, Lady Human. Is that another horrible noise that we will be forced to bark at?
Me: Are you ever really forced to bark at anything? Isn’t barking something that you choose to do?
Stella: Are you ever really forced to gargle, Lady Human? Isn’t gargling something that you choose to do?
Me: But I don’t gargle every day. And I don’t yell every day. I don’t even bark every day.
Stella: To each his own. Wait again! What is that?
Me: Sirens.
Stella: Very well, Pack. Barking may commence.
Tiger: (barking)
Snoopey: (barking)
Wiggles: (barking)
Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie: (barking at each other)
Stella: You may recommence your gargling noise, Lady Human. It makes no difference now.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
