Human Barking – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Illustrious Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I am in charge here. Whatever that horrible noise is, stop it now!

Snoopey: It sounds like a fake bulldog.

Stella:    It must stop! Now everybody is barking at it! Agghh! Now Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie are barking at each other! Wiggles! What are you barking at?

Wiggles:  Everybody else is barking. So…me, too!

Stella:    What started this?

Me:        It must have been me. I was gargling.

Stella:    Why would you do such a horrible thing? What is gargling and how can it be stopped?

Me:        It’s like juggling water in the back of my throat. It may help me get my whole voice back sooner.

Stella:    Wait! You found your voice? Was it in the back yard as I thought? Anyway, can you juggle the water in your throat someplace where it won’t bother the bulldogs? You heard the eruption.

Me:        Maybe. Maybe not. I think they will hear me anywhere in the house.

Stella:    Gargling must be human barking.

Me:        I don’t think so. I think human barking would be…well, barking. Or yelling. Gargling may not have a dog correlation.

Stella:    Dog correlation? You are being confusing again, Lady Human. Is that another horrible noise that we will be forced to bark at?

Me:        Are you ever really forced to bark at anything? Isn’t barking something that you choose to do?

Stella:    Are you ever really forced to gargle, Lady Human? Isn’t gargling something that you choose to do?

Me:        But I don’t gargle every day. And I don’t yell every day. I don’t even bark every day.

Stella:    To each his own. Wait again! What is that?

Me:        Sirens.

Stella:    Very well, Pack. Barking may commence.

Tiger:     (barking)

Snoopey: (barking)

Wiggles: (barking)

Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie: (barking at each other)

Stella:    You may recommence your gargling noise, Lady Human. It makes no difference now.




Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.





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