Hello, Stella. Oh, I mean Queen Stella of the Olde English Bulldogges, Illustrious and Noble. It sure is nice of you to visit my room.
Stella: It was nice of you to invite me.
Me: I have invited you many times. You seem to be nervous about it, the way you were about the hall when you first came. You never would walk down it.
Stella: The Dark Hall of Horrors?
Me: Not when the light was on.
Stella: No, then it was the Lighted Hall of Horrors.
Me: And you gradually got used to it.
Stella: Yes, I love this long, crazy hall now.
Me: But not my room. Why?
Stella: Your room is weird. It smells weird, like a human.
Me: That’s as it should be, isn’t it?
Stella: Yes, but we don’t favor the flowery and sweet scents as much as humans do and your room stinks of those.
Me: Would you like to get up on my bed?
Stella: Yes. No. Yes. No.
Me: Snoopey loves it up here. She uses that cushion ramp I made and walks right up.
Stella: I know Snoopey, Lady Human. Snoopey does not walk. She storms, she invades, she pounds. Admit it.
Me: Yeah, okay. Anyway, she seems happy to be here. Why don’t you come on up and try it?
Me: Why not?
Stella: It is the Squishy Quagmire Bulldog Trap. Bulldogs go in, but they don’t come out.
Me: Stella, you know that’s not true. Snoopey’s not stuck up here. Neither am I.
Stella: But what about me? I am a lot lighter than she is. Those cushy blankets may swallow me up and not let me go.
Me: No way. Here. I brought you a treat.
Me: A treat. Just come up here and get it.
Stella: A trick.
Me: No trick. Where’s the trick?
Stella: A bribe! For shame, Lady Human!
Me: All right. A bribe, just to get you to try it.
Stella: Nyahnyahnyah. A delicious bribe. Hey, it’s not so bad up here. Where do you keep the treats?
In Memory of Boomer – until we meet in the land of no more partings.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved