Bed Jumping

Hello, Stella. Oh, I mean Queen Stella of the Olde English Bulldogges, Illustrious and Noble. It sure is nice of you to visit my room.

Stella: It was nice of you to invite me.

Me: I have invited you many times. You seem to be nervous about it, the way you were about the hall when you first came. You never would walk down it.

Stella: The Dark Hall of Horrors?

Me: Not when the light was on.

Stella: No, then it was the Lighted Hall of Horrors.

Me: And you gradually got used to it. 

Stella: Yes, I love this long, crazy hall now.

Me: But not my room. Why?

Stella: Your room is weird. It smells weird, like a human.

Me: That’s as it should be, isn’t it?

Stella: Yes, but we don’t favor the flowery and sweet scents as much as humans do and your room stinks of those.

Me: Would you like to get up on my bed?

Stella: Yes. No. Yes. No.

Me: Snoopey loves it up here. She uses that cushion ramp I made and walks right up.

Stella: I know Snoopey, Lady Human. Snoopey does not walk. She storms, she invades, she pounds. Admit it.

Me: Yeah, okay. Anyway, she seems happy to be here. Why don’t you come on up and try it?

Stella: No.

Me: Why not?

Stella: It is the Squishy Quagmire Bulldog Trap. Bulldogs go in, but they don’t come out.

Me: Stella, you know that’s not true. Snoopey’s not stuck up here. Neither am I.

Stella: But what about me? I am a lot lighter than she is. Those cushy blankets may swallow me up and not let me go. 

Me: No way. Here. I brought you a treat.

Stella: Whaaattt?

Me: A treat. Just come up here and get it.

Stella: A trick.

Me: No trick. Where’s the trick?

Stella: A bribe! For shame, Lady Human!

Me: All right. A bribe, just to get you to try it.

Stella: Nyahnyahnyah. A delicious bribe. Hey, it’s not so bad up here. Where do you keep the treats? 
In Memory of Boomer – until we meet in the land of no more partings.

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved