I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Humans were talking stupid stuff today. There is supposedly a fat squirrel a long way from here that the humans think can tell what the weather will be in the future. I am glad he is a long way from here, because I would chase him if he were where I am. And I would, too. You just watch me.
Me: Are you talking about Punxsutawney Phil?
Stella: Something like that, yeah.
Me: That’s a groundhog, not a squirrel.
Stella: He looks like a squirrel to me. I know how squirrels are. They are always wrong.
Me: About the weather?
Stella: About everything.
Me: It’s a tradition up in Punxsutawney that Phil can predict when spring weather will come based on whether or not he sees his shadow today. If he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter. If he does not see his shadow, spring will come early.
Stella: And he did not see his shadow today so he says there will be an early spring.
Me: That’s what I heard.
Stella: What are shadows caused by, Lady Human?
Me: Light shining on something.
Stella: So old Phil did not see his shadow because there was no sun where he was today.
Me: That’s the report.
Stella: Was it cold where he was today?
Me: Yes.
Stella: Was it cold here?
Me: You know. It was 63 degrees. Like spring.
Stella: Lady Human, I think Phil is confused. I think he was predicting our weather, not his. That’s what humans get for listening to a squirrel.
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Bulldoggy 