I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Now, Wiggles, in your own words, please tell us what happened.
Me: I can tell you what happened.
Stella: You will have your chance. But your testimony is only from the human point of view. Wiggles will give us the bulldog facts.
Me: Human point of view? But I saw what happened. There are no human facts and bulldog facts. There are only facts.
Stella: Time’s a wastin’! Wiggles, give your account.
Me: You make this sound like a trial.
Stella: It is a trial of that wicked red thing over there. Now please let us continue.
Wiggles: Well, I was asleep, having a good nap.
Tiger: Me, too.
Doodlebug: Me, too.
Miss Sweetie: Me, too.
Stella: Me, too.
Wiggles: All of a sudden, that mean old red thing attacked my rear end and woke me up. I jumped up and started barking.
Tiger: Me, too.
Doodlebug: Me, too.
Miss Sweetie: Me, too.
Stella: Me, too.
Me: Is that all?
Wiggles: Does there need to be more?
Me: Well, I was not asleep. I was sitting right here, and I saw what happened. The wicked red thing is a small red bucket. Wiggles, while you were napping, you moved your rear end and bumped into the bucket. It fell over, startled you awake, and you jumped up barking. As did everyone else, except me. So there. End of case.
Stella: So, the wicked red thing…bucket…like that’s a real word…gets away with it?
Me: It’s just a plastic bucket, Stella.
Stella: Why is it allowed to be in here with us?
Me: Have you noticed what I do with that bucket?
Stella: No.
Tiger: No.
Wiggles: No.
Miss Sweetie: No.
Doodlebug: Don’t care.
Me: It’s what I use to carry your food to your bowls.
Stella: Oh. Well, in that case…Wiggles! Watch out where you move your rear end when you nap!
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.