I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Something was wrong with Tall Man yesterday. I regret to say that I have not figured it out.
Me: Nothing is wrong with Tall Man.
Stella: He was sitting on the floor. Do you call that normal human behavior?
Me: Yeah, sometimes.
Stella: No, it is not. Sitting on the floor is bulldog behavior. Floors were make for us to sit on. As were big softy chairs. And couches. And human beds. And…
Me: Floors are platforms for humans, too.
Stella: Not only was he sitting on the floor, his legs were crossed like he was some kind of weird cat, though all cats are weird.
Me: Humans sit cross-legged at times.
Stella: And he was surrounded by millions of strangely shaped balls that looked a whole lot like the eggs the chickens lay. But guess what?
Me: Pray tell what?
Stella: They were not like the eggs the chickens lay. He was opening them and there was no yellow goo inside. Ask me how I know about the yellow goo in eggs?
Me: I don’t have to. I already know.
Stella: Well, there was no goo in the eggs Tall Man was opening. And he was putting stuff into the eggs. And guess what?
Stella: The stuff was candy. Human candy. Ask me how I know.
Me: How do you know?
Stella: Candy smells like guess what? Candy. Candy smells like candy. Why, Lady Human, why? Why was Tall Man sitting on the floor cross-legged, opening millions of fake eggs, and putting candy in them?
Me: First, he did not have millions of eggs. He had about a hundred which is still a lot.
Stella: I counted millions but go on.
Me: Those plastic eggs with candy in them were for a game that some human children play on Easter. People hide the eggs and the children search for them.
Stella: I don’t understand.
Me: Well, the fun is in the finding. They get excited to hunt the eggs, and when they find one, they have the bonus of getting the candy inside.
Stella: So, you hide candy in fake eggs and hide the fake eggs, forcing the children to search for them and this is supposed to be a fun game. Shame on you all, Lady Human. Don’t ever try to fool me like that. Unless, of course, you are hiding real chicken treats. Then you are welcome to try to fool me. My nose will win every time.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
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