I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. We are being invaded by a huge number of giant flying insects called cicadas.
Me: We call them ‘locusts’, but I realize some people call a grasshopper-like insect that so there may be some confusion…
Stella: What, Lady Human, does that have to do with what is going on?
Me: Just clarifying.
Stella: Please don’t. You only make things more confusing. And this is confusing. A day ago, everything was nice and calm and the cicadas were here. Now they are flying around like mad, lots and lots of them, and… OW! One flew into my head!
Me: Don’t worry. He’s okay. It didn’t faze him one bit.
Stella: He’s okay? What about me! It fazed me!
Me: There do seem to be a lot of them flying, more than I’ve ever seen at one time.
Stella: They are kind of cool. Green and gold and shiny. The trees are filled with them, all singing. Is that windup toy noise their fight song?
Me: No, it’s more like their mating call so the females can lay eggs and 17 years from now the babies can hatch out.
Stella: Watch out! Low flying giant insect! What if I catch one?
Me: You won’t like it. I was wearing flip flops one summer evening many years ago…
Stella: Boring! Get to the point.
Me: A cicada flew down and got caught between my toes and my flip flop and I couldn’t get that shoe off fast enough. It was buzzing and shaking and bumbling…
Stella: That’s great!
Me: No, not great! And another time a cat caught one in her mouth and liked to have gone nuts before she realized she just needed to open her mouth and let it go. That cicada scared that cat silly.
Stella: A cicada in a cat’s mouth, huh? Lady Human…
Me: Nope.
Stella: But I have an idea.
Me: Nope.
Stella: But you haven’t heard it yet.
Me: Don’t have to. I already know what it is.
Stella: But it would be funny.
Me: Not for the cat, it wouldn’t be.
Stella: Hmmmpphh. Pooh! What good is a cicada invasion if we can’t have some fun with a cat?
Me: If you think it’s so funny, why don’t you go ahead and pick up a cicada with your mouth and see how that works?
Stella: No, not the same. My bulldog mouth is so large, he’d probably get lost in there and never find his way out again.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 